Where Was I?

Soooooooo,  Its been a very long time since I last posted.  I fell completely off the grid.  But I never stopped wondering when I would re-enter the wonderful world of blogging.  And here I am.  I'm still me.  The spawn are still the spawn.  There is no longer a "Him" and I'm okay with that. I got a new gig and a promotion in under 6 months, and I am completely in love with the year 2013. It has brought about a great change in me and the spawn. I'll be posting soon in the meantime:

Happy All The Holidays I Missed!  I've got a few good stories to tell.......

See ya soon,

Spawn #2

Spawn #1

~L rouge

Rain Rain Go Away

It's morning the alarm goes off and you hop out the bed into the shower. Warm water washes the sleep away and you are instantly rejuvenated. Brush teeth, minty fresh! Lotion slays the ash, deodorant exiles the funk.

Music from the radio gives u few laughs and tunes to get dressed to. Slacks pressed to perfection, cowl neck blouse draped magnificently. Hair in place for a change and make up light but helpful. Today is going to be a good day.

Jacket on, bag packed, book in purse. Phone? Check. Keys? Check. Bus pass? Check. Look out window, it's raining. No problem. Umbrella? Umbrella? Umbrella? Spawn says she left it at school. Foiled again.

Unfortunate Events AkA I quit

It's Wednesday morning and I woke up the first time the alarm went off. I dressed in an ensemble exceptionally cute for my humdrum life on a cubicle farm. The kids both had a sunny disposition for a Wednesday morning. I kissed the Hubbs and fired up the ole Chevy. My best girl friend on the celly, pandora radio on and traffic great. This was by far the best Wednesday I'd had in a while.

And then it happened. On the expressway. The bubblegum melted, the Bandaid got wet, it rained on my parade. Or simply put the car ran hot. A problem I was sure the wages from my last paycheck had fixed. Negative

It took me two hours and thirty minutes of starts and stops (for cooling off periods) to get home from a location it only took me twenty minutes to get to. I read a very uninteresting book, sobbed to the Hubbs, and called to tell my corporate cubicle farm buds that I Quit. Not because the job sucks but because ole Carla the Chevy is in the ICU and the farm is not close enough to the nearest bus line.

My children are afraid. I go carazy when I'm unemployed and and all my maniacal episodes will somehow fall on them. Poor spawn. Karma is a b*#>£. To us all apparently. Where's the wine I'm back to exercising and crafting. Right after I eat my feelings and price the bill for Carla.

Onward and upward surely a finer gig awaits! I hope

Somebody get me the matches! We're Rekindling!

So the hubbs and I hit a speed bump.....I call that speed bump life.  The kids also hit that speed bump with us. So everyone in my home is acting extremely weird.  The kids wont listen, the hubbs and I have jobs that leave us little room for much more than a round of the "grown up" and Hi-Five. (which has some benefits :).

What I think date nights are supposed to look like

All that being said.....we are rekindling.  When I hear the term rekindling I think of things like romantic evenings with cocktail dresses and champagne and fancy dinners and kids being away with a relative or boarding school (wishful thinking here folks).  But no. Our rekindling will be massively different, yet tailor made for us.  I have though about it extensively and I believe it shall go like this:

6:00 am - wake up, get kids dressed, and off to school.  They will wake up with sunny dispositions and dress and groom themselves with no help from me. I will begin cooking a healthy breakfast.

7:45 am - kids load their respective school buses and the hubbs and wave see ya later.


8:00 am - Mimosas! Yessssss...... why not? maybe some upbeat music and we clean the new house and laugh and giggle and shit.

Yumm.....

11:00 - the early show at a movie maybe and lunch at a nearby restaurant.

1:30 pm - a nice drive to the lake or something, music blasting on the car stereo (I'm pretending gas prices aren't sky high)

3:00 pm - Kids get home tell us how awesome school was and do their homework with minimal help from us parents because they are geniuses

6:00 pm - Dinner is served .... because I'm awesome and managed to serve dinner at a really normal Pleasantville time of day. (This never happens)

How happy is this family?

6:45-8:00 pm - a little mind numbing TV as a family, some laughs and the kids tell us how much they love  being a family

Family game night!

9:00 pm - kids head off to bed, and the hubbs and I take a shower (together!!) a little scrabble, some cuddling, a chick flick with action so hubbs doesn't go to sleep and we do the grown up rinse and repeat.

Is this real? They are surely watching an action packed chick flick

Reality: Lots of work, no time for a matinee, or mimosas, cleaning takes place while Hubbs is at work, dinner is always late, gas prices are up so no ones going for  leisurely drive, while my kids are geniuses they still require the brain of the two parental geniuses in the house to complete homework, My little angels are really spawn with selective hearing (they select to not hear anything we say), and that nearby restaurant is a Charley's Grilled Subs with those really awesome kiwi lemonades, not champagne.  So if anyone's got some free time could you do me a favor?

Our version of  a romantic meal

Get Me The Matches .......... We're Rekindling!


~lola

There are some things you just don't see coming

Soooo this post shall be an explanation and a catch up all in one. I miss u guys tons or at least the people I think are reading me..... Sigh***    Here goes:

There are some things you just don't see coming like being a mom in high school. I totally knew unprotected sex could lead to pregnancy. But I really didn't see it coming

There are some things you just don't see coming like a failed marriage. I really didn't think I would end up divorced but sometimes we jump the gun and I did. Down goes Frazier and husband number one.

There are some things you just don't see coming like a really hard life. I totally knew it wouldn't be easy. I was warned and had seen for myself. But no groceries, no new school clothes, Shut off notices, unemployment, those cute lil faces looking at me tell them about the struggle and hope they don't get teased at a school? Didn't see that coming.

There are some things you just don't see coming like quitting a job you really loved because sometimes you just gotta move on. I really lived that gig, I loved the work and I loved my coworkers and I left them. I thought I might work there forever.

There are some things you just don't see coming like your ten year old "becoming a woman". Seriously it felt effed up typing that shit. She still wears panties with the days of week on em. This is nuts. I know that science has proven that this would happen but I wasn't ready. And I didn't see it coming. I really didn't. Not yet at least.

There are some things you just don't see coming like a chance to be married again. That guy you had a crush on at your job? He can totally become your forever and ever person! I had hoped for it, but I wasn't sure it would happen for me. And I'm so glad it did.

There are some things you just don't see coming like almost completely screwing your Second marriage up. Thought I had this shit figured out for sure. I knew we were both making bad decisions but I didn't think we would do that much damage.

There are some things you just don't see coming. We fixed it. Nuff said. We're going strong and working it out. It is hard but I wasn't always positive we would pull it off.

Now the short list of things I didn't se coming:
My computer died
My car broke down
I'm moving
My mom moved out and I miss her
I don't get along with my in-laws
I'm missing a few friends
And I miss blogging


Seemingly these are all things I should have and could have foreseen. But here's the deal: I'm whimsy. I believe in magic and miracles and that positive thoughts make for a better world. I really hoped that the world could be better if everyone would just get all whimsy with me. Then I fell from cloud nine right into depression (I didn't see that coming either). I'm better now. And my few readers are all caught up now. I shall not change my whimsy for the World. I will be me.

Teen mom says: I hate that my kids have to grow with me instead of me helping them grow. I often get scared that I'm effin em up

Mom says : hopefully they will be better for it. I'll help em grow, apologize for the damage, and they will be fine. Or I'll help pay for therapy :-)


P.S. my pc is broken and my normally well placed pics are just gonna show at the end which sux. And is also something I didn't see coming so here's a synopsis
Pic 1: me and my new Lil woman she totally looks like a baby
Pic 2: me and my hubby making it happen
Pic3:the result of unprotected teen sex. My two super awesome spawn
Pic 4: me and the shoulder of the first husband. I own no further proof he ever existed. Lol
Pic 5: me and my mommy. She moved out and I miss her
Pic 6: me and my bestie Nicole the friend that NEVER disappears.

I've got commitment issues AKA a New Job

I apologize to my 5 loyal readers for the long hiatus. (Maybe I have more but, non blogger people in my universe don't understand the importance of dropping a line so I know I'm appreciated---wait that's another topic).  That job I last blogged about getting?  I haven't figured out how to make time for blogging with it yet.  Gasp! Whaaaa??? I know, I know.

I shall post something interesting, according to my own standards of course, tomorrow.  I may even try to find a witty title for it!

Thanks for the patience!


Lola

Diary Of An Accidental Stay At Home Mom

I would first like to apologize for the long wait since my last post, but some things happened and I just wasn't prepared to blog about it just yet. Now I am,  so here goes.

Entry 1 in the Diary of an Accidental Stay at Home Mom:

I did it! I quit my job, a job I loved, and had been very loyal to for several years, in an industry that was completely foreign to me that I somehow managed to love. I had to take a stand on my own behalf and it ultimately meant quitting the gig.  I packed up my desk and all my extra shoes and pictures of spawn (some that didn't even belong to me). And I walked on out of there. The Hubbs picked me up and that was that.  Now what?????? I'm a stay at home mom now and it was a complete and total accident. So what do stay at home mom's do???????

I have ALWAYS had a job, from the tender age of fourteen when my mom took me to get a work permit, and I proudly donned the Geauga Lake uniform that would begin my work journey. I have always loved having a job, no matter how much money I spent, I could be sure that another sum was headed my way as long as I punched that time clock. This security has just sprinted away and I'm going mad!!! Sure, the Hubbs says he's got us covered and I believe him....but the security blanket that is my job is gone and I cant deal. Even better yet, I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do with the free time and I cant fathom why anyone would not want to work... I'm so confused.

re purposed dresser for the spawn

Earrings I made 

So now I devise a plan, I start applying for jobs online, and finding ways to keep myself busy. I'm going crazy and my friends are teasing me because it's only been three days and I am freaking out ...daily.  I dive into my theory on what stay at home moms do.  I clean HARD.....like all the walls and baseboards, under the spawns beds, I rearrange furniture in the living room, I make cameo appearance at Munch's school for random reasons she has invited me to (And believe me, I do NOT fit in with this group of moms) until now I have been the phantom email mom. The kid is happy though so I shrug it off, I exercise so much I hurt my back and can hardly move, I go to the library everyday, I pick back up all the hobbies that I didnt have time to fully commit to. I finally decorate the walls of our living room, I develop those picture that were taken in the winter, I re purpose old furniture, I dabble in natural Do's for the spawn, I customize sneaks for little girls, I make more earrings to peddle, I write poetry, I separate clothes for the season change, I shop (not sure how this works with me not having a paycheck any more S/O to the Hubbs), I clean up the hard drive on the PC, I read the bible more, I pray more (for a better gig  of course), and mostly I go crazy!!!!!!!

Munch has convinced her friends parents to get a pair of these Custom Joints! Cha-ching Good Job Munch!

My best bud says she's proud of the use of my time...at least I'm not being lazy.  I get a few callbacks, some are a bust, some seem promising, and ONE works out completely and I start next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I was unemployed for two weeks.  It felt like an eternity. But knowing I'm back in the game makes me a healthier person all around. I guess I'm just a worker bee.

The Live Museum-- She was Jane Goodall

So, to all my Stay At Home Moms who do it for all the love of it I salute You. finding ways to purpose your time in such a way that you dont become a lazy bum, joining the PTA and dealing with the spawn collective at class parties and field trips, cooking three meals a day, organizing activities, and still maintaining your own self, and making it look relative;ly easy  is deserving of my respect...so here it is. To the other Accidentals, like me- hang in there get really busy with crafty creative things like I did!, and dont stop the search your job is just around the corner you haven't made it to yet, but you are on your way.

Bean's Natural do'

Munch's Natural Do'

A few fun definitions:  These are all based solely on the mind of L. rouge

Mom- A chick who has kids, loves them, and does everything she can to make sure they are awesome and they know it!!!!!!
Stay At Home Mom- this chick is usually married, and wants the best for her kids and would rather not send them to daycare, she cooks three meals, crafts, cleans, goes to Little Gym and other community activities, all while getting the spawn ready for Pre-K and what not.
Phantom Email Mom: That mom that every mom and school teacher is postive exists but you just haven't seen her.  She replies to all your emails and phone calls, she always sends in snacks and paper plates per your request, the kid seems to think she's awesome but No one and i mean no one has seen her except the kid and the occasional sleepover friend.
Accidental Stay At Home Mom- married or unmarried this chick almost always has a job, and prefers it that way, but occassionally she doesnt have a job due to termination, lay offs, resignations, or some other corporate type reason and somehow manages to find steroetypical things to do till she gets a another gig.

Munch doesn't even look like she wants to be here.....Oh well  I've got pics to prove I went lol

 All better now!