The Moment, An ode to My favorite cuzns

So today, I went to an art show. And it was really great, Not just any art show, My favorite little cuzn's art show. He's a senior in high school heading off to blaze trails and what not, pursing the Arts.  He is fuggin awesome at this shit and it is simply amazing.

So he won a decent sized scholarship thru the Lakewood Arts Festival Association or something similar to that and boy were we proud. Like really proud.

Monty winning his scholarship

But THE MOMENT AWARD goes to his mom, my big cuzn April. As a recovering teen mom with not so normal tactics, you love to see moms win triumphantly. And having a son as respectful, smart, and cool as Monty.....Is a win. This is a kid that I don't mind hanging with, and guess what? I actually don't hang with anybody. ( that may explain why not many people read my blog).

See, this is a cool fella

Seeing his artwork is a win, seeing him beam with pride as he won that scholarship over some pretty fantastic stuff .........is a win. Seeing his mom cry because contrary to what people say not only can you raise a man on your own but you can raise a GENTLEMAN............HUGE WIN!

So this small post is in honor of my two favorite cuzns April and her son Monty.  I dont have any sons, but if I did, I would hope he would be as cool as April made this kid.


Teen Mom Moment: I always worry if I will get to have that moment when my kid accomplishes something and is headed totally in the right direction, It is one of my greatest fears.

Me, April and Raina ... The only girls in our clan

Mom Moment:  I will get to experience this moment.... It's in my blood.    :)

TTYL!    ~rouge

Do You understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!?

Nope. She doesn't. Who? The Spawn better known as Bean. She doesn't understand, and what's worst, I don't understand her. Her logic is ill- to say the least and her pre -teen mind is convinced its always got something to prove. To Who? Me ......and the Hubbs........and Nana........and the world I guess. But you know what? I'm over it. We had a breakdown / break through last night, I think. Well, I guess it  may just have been one of many to come. I'm just  not so sure I have to wear with all to make it friends. I. Just. Dont. Know.

I tell her to do things, she tells me why it isnt a great idea. I tell her how to do the math problem she is struggling with, she tells me that's not how her teacher taught it. I tell her to clean up, she tells me why she shouldnt have to. I tell her ANYTHING, she has some sort of rebuttal. This is then followed with  a depressed Eeyore like state where she mopes about telling of all the reasons why she is sad. Like: noone understands her, noone listens, noone cares, etc, etc, ETC.

See the resemblance???

I have settled in to the idea that she is on the verge of teenagerness and this makes her prone to mood swings and a general sense of unfairmisunderstoodness. My mom made a valid point yesterday it went like this:
Me: What the Heck is wrong with her?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Nana: Two years ago, she was ten.
Me: I tell her to do things and she absolutely doesn't do it!
Nana: Her brain isn't working properly.
Me: Does She Understand The Words That Are coming Out Of My Mouth!!!!!?????!!!!
Nana: No. She. Doesn't.



AAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAA! Some of this bullshit is really her NOT growing up she's a ten year old trapped inside a wannabe teenager's body. So what do I do now?  I guess I just continue giving orders that she may or may not follow. I'm not against the rod believe that, but it isn't my favorite thing to do. It's tiring, and rendered useless if you don't explain why they ended up with the whooping afterwards.

What I am realizing is this is a monster that I created. I was always into having a kid with a voice who would be heard and stuff like that. I didn't expect it to backfire into a voice that I have to debate with incessantly.

The End Result: I explained to the Beaner her feelings and shit are important, but being OBEDIENT is even more important (It even says so in the Bible). I hope this works.
I digress.  Maybe we will try some family counseling??????

Teen Mom Moment: I once got a call from a teacher who told the Beaner she was in trouble and had to go to timeout. Bean answered her by asking what the other options were. I was proud of this, she wasnt just accepting her fate. I thought this was me being a flipping awesome mom.

Mom Moment: She now hits me with the same shit I had intended for others, NOT Me. She should do what I told her because I said so. Whip the Bible out and see how that works for ya.  (pray for me lol)

See not a teenager an ex 10 yr old.

Teenager +Teen Mom+Literary Classics= Disaster

Oh God Help...... This has been my prayer for the entire school year. Now that I am in 7th grade English AGAIN, I find myself reading the same books AGAIN and they are more frustrating than ever. Why you ask? I'll tell ya.  I hated these books then, and I hate them now. For totally different reasons tho. Now my friends we shall explore the wide world of unorthodox parenting and Advanced English.

So it all started with Tom Sawyer........a classic, yes I know, with great themes and the all too familiar coming of age yadda, yadda yawn. This book was boring to me when I was thirteen and it was ridonculously boring to Bean. She simply cant relate, maybe because she's not an adolescent boy, maybe because its not 1840, maybe she just doesn't want to. but the bottom line here folks is simple she doesn't dig it and does not have the gumption to try.... we get the homework done, we read the book, her test scores kinda show it and I feel like a failure. Whatever, next book.

TRIUMPH! I don't even know what the next book was! She liked it soo much she managed to get through it with none of my help and did pretty stinkin alright! great grades, great test score, and i still kinda feel like a failure.....See what has happened here is simple. I'm not even sure if I asked what book they were reading, I wanted the much needed break from Jr. High Literature and I seized the day! Carpe Diem! (she also takes Latin and consequently I take Latin sadly enough I have only retained Carpe  Diem--I digress). So much for winning though I didn't involve myself in the process and according to Parenting magazine in some issue I didn't read, this is a FAIL. Whatever Next Book




Animal Farm- Holy shit! I actually liked this book in school, but here's the problem The Beaner does not. It's story lines are too fictional for her (she simply cant get into talking animals outside of Stuart Little), and the plot is too politically driven (scratch senator off of the list of things she might be when she grows up). So the scenario simply put, is this: Mom thinks its an awesome book, Bean thinks its confusing cue up the natural disaster.

I have tried several approaches to get her to understand the book with the exceptional help of Nana (my mommy- insert smiling face everyone loves a Nana right?

Me the chickies and NANA!!!!

We had her read the damned book (see how quickly I've begin cursing?) no dice- she knows what happened but she cant apply it. We read the fuggin chapter to her no dice- she wasn't listening for answers to the worksheet. We had her read spark notes -(is that cheating? not sure. I'll ask an English teacher who isn't HER teacher) no dice- she just isn't getting it.  I told her the answer- She states that is NOT the answer -----Everyone clear the room this Teen Mom is about to blow!


Even Nana saw this hurricane a comin'. I could tell by the look on her face from the living room. After several minutes of extremely non productive banter about applying yourself, not doodling while I read YOUR damned required reading to you instead of doing something I would have like to do, Bean cuing up the water works and me completely unsympathetic to these tears, I said to hell with it and walked out of the room.  Seething in the room with my husband who was, kickin it with sandman already I hear Nana trying to explain to my eldest spawn why I have lost all my cool. But was that enough to calm me down? NOPE.  I storm back into the living room and unleashed the fury.

This was probably how it looked....oh well

"You know what?" this is how all mad black moms begin a good giving of the What for.
"I read Animal farm in the the seventh grade. And You know What? (Never wait for an answer it slows down your delivery thus lightening the heaviness of your message) "I got an A, I understood it, I answered the questions, I passed the tests, without the extensive amount of help you require. Do you know Why? (still don't wait for an answer) Because I had gumption, what I didn't understand, I looked up. And I had the powers of reading comprehension and inferring, I was able to take what I read and apply it enough to answer questions and pass tests.  I am thoroughly sick of arguing with you ANEESAH about how this should be done, If you knew how to do it, it would have been done! I cant deal with you, and I am finished!"
Now I storm out of the room and I hear Nana calming her down (I believe she may have a little touch of anxiety). They get through the homework, we all go to bed. And I wake up still kinda feeling like a failure. Whatever.

This all boils down to a few good and bad points:
1. I guess I may have been a wee bit harsh, but eff that the world is cold, I've gotta get these chicks ready for the weather
2. I realized that I kinda think my kid is dumb (not completely, English which happened to be my fave subject, just isn't her thing. She rocks in all her other subjects) Guilty truth:  I'm pretty sure I was more quick witted than her too :(
3. Animal Farm really is a good book, I reeeeaaaaallllyy want her to see that.
4. Bean is a wicked hard worker and any teacher worth their weight in classic novels will tell you, a hardworking student earns more teacher respect than that smart asshole in the back who seems to pick up on everything effortlessly and then proceeds to distract the hardworking students --Truth: I was the asshole.
5. I don't think she is dumb-- It just felt good to get it out there. and it make me giggle that i actually typed something that fugged up.
6. I'm not a failure, and I know that. I'm a teen, unorthodox, adapting to the teenage years about as gracefully as a two year old performing swan lake. The Beaner will be fine.


So, I released it. I feel better already. Hope you enjoyed. I'm excited. Next Book: SHAKESPEARE'S A MIDSUMMER NIGHTS DREAM!!! My Favorite Shakespeare play.

Maybe We'll watch the movie, I love that Ally McBeal!

Pray for Us

How cute is this kid? 

By the way, we hugged in the morning and moved on. She thinks I'm crazy but she loves me and she knows I love her. We played the Wii (see my adoration for that  machine in my previous blog), and we move on.  I dont think its dysfunctional, it's just us :)