Teenager +Teen Mom+Literary Classics= Disaster

Oh God Help...... This has been my prayer for the entire school year. Now that I am in 7th grade English AGAIN, I find myself reading the same books AGAIN and they are more frustrating than ever. Why you ask? I'll tell ya.  I hated these books then, and I hate them now. For totally different reasons tho. Now my friends we shall explore the wide world of unorthodox parenting and Advanced English.

So it all started with Tom Sawyer........a classic, yes I know, with great themes and the all too familiar coming of age yadda, yadda yawn. This book was boring to me when I was thirteen and it was ridonculously boring to Bean. She simply cant relate, maybe because she's not an adolescent boy, maybe because its not 1840, maybe she just doesn't want to. but the bottom line here folks is simple she doesn't dig it and does not have the gumption to try.... we get the homework done, we read the book, her test scores kinda show it and I feel like a failure. Whatever, next book.

TRIUMPH! I don't even know what the next book was! She liked it soo much she managed to get through it with none of my help and did pretty stinkin alright! great grades, great test score, and i still kinda feel like a failure.....See what has happened here is simple. I'm not even sure if I asked what book they were reading, I wanted the much needed break from Jr. High Literature and I seized the day! Carpe Diem! (she also takes Latin and consequently I take Latin sadly enough I have only retained Carpe  Diem--I digress). So much for winning though I didn't involve myself in the process and according to Parenting magazine in some issue I didn't read, this is a FAIL. Whatever Next Book




Animal Farm- Holy shit! I actually liked this book in school, but here's the problem The Beaner does not. It's story lines are too fictional for her (she simply cant get into talking animals outside of Stuart Little), and the plot is too politically driven (scratch senator off of the list of things she might be when she grows up). So the scenario simply put, is this: Mom thinks its an awesome book, Bean thinks its confusing cue up the natural disaster.

I have tried several approaches to get her to understand the book with the exceptional help of Nana (my mommy- insert smiling face everyone loves a Nana right?

Me the chickies and NANA!!!!

We had her read the damned book (see how quickly I've begin cursing?) no dice- she knows what happened but she cant apply it. We read the fuggin chapter to her no dice- she wasn't listening for answers to the worksheet. We had her read spark notes -(is that cheating? not sure. I'll ask an English teacher who isn't HER teacher) no dice- she just isn't getting it.  I told her the answer- She states that is NOT the answer -----Everyone clear the room this Teen Mom is about to blow!


Even Nana saw this hurricane a comin'. I could tell by the look on her face from the living room. After several minutes of extremely non productive banter about applying yourself, not doodling while I read YOUR damned required reading to you instead of doing something I would have like to do, Bean cuing up the water works and me completely unsympathetic to these tears, I said to hell with it and walked out of the room.  Seething in the room with my husband who was, kickin it with sandman already I hear Nana trying to explain to my eldest spawn why I have lost all my cool. But was that enough to calm me down? NOPE.  I storm back into the living room and unleashed the fury.

This was probably how it looked....oh well

"You know what?" this is how all mad black moms begin a good giving of the What for.
"I read Animal farm in the the seventh grade. And You know What? (Never wait for an answer it slows down your delivery thus lightening the heaviness of your message) "I got an A, I understood it, I answered the questions, I passed the tests, without the extensive amount of help you require. Do you know Why? (still don't wait for an answer) Because I had gumption, what I didn't understand, I looked up. And I had the powers of reading comprehension and inferring, I was able to take what I read and apply it enough to answer questions and pass tests.  I am thoroughly sick of arguing with you ANEESAH about how this should be done, If you knew how to do it, it would have been done! I cant deal with you, and I am finished!"
Now I storm out of the room and I hear Nana calming her down (I believe she may have a little touch of anxiety). They get through the homework, we all go to bed. And I wake up still kinda feeling like a failure. Whatever.

This all boils down to a few good and bad points:
1. I guess I may have been a wee bit harsh, but eff that the world is cold, I've gotta get these chicks ready for the weather
2. I realized that I kinda think my kid is dumb (not completely, English which happened to be my fave subject, just isn't her thing. She rocks in all her other subjects) Guilty truth:  I'm pretty sure I was more quick witted than her too :(
3. Animal Farm really is a good book, I reeeeaaaaallllyy want her to see that.
4. Bean is a wicked hard worker and any teacher worth their weight in classic novels will tell you, a hardworking student earns more teacher respect than that smart asshole in the back who seems to pick up on everything effortlessly and then proceeds to distract the hardworking students --Truth: I was the asshole.
5. I don't think she is dumb-- It just felt good to get it out there. and it make me giggle that i actually typed something that fugged up.
6. I'm not a failure, and I know that. I'm a teen, unorthodox, adapting to the teenage years about as gracefully as a two year old performing swan lake. The Beaner will be fine.


So, I released it. I feel better already. Hope you enjoyed. I'm excited. Next Book: SHAKESPEARE'S A MIDSUMMER NIGHTS DREAM!!! My Favorite Shakespeare play.

Maybe We'll watch the movie, I love that Ally McBeal!

Pray for Us

How cute is this kid? 

By the way, we hugged in the morning and moved on. She thinks I'm crazy but she loves me and she knows I love her. We played the Wii (see my adoration for that  machine in my previous blog), and we move on.  I dont think its dysfunctional, it's just us :)