You're no THAT fat mommy......sigh

Yup. She did it. She said it as I was getting dressed to go perform poetry, on my now fourth attempt at looking like I accidentally look this cool.... "You're not THAT fat mommy." After what I am sure were death rays caused her to wince a bit, She went on to say... You are not fat at all, kinda thick, just not skinny....blah, blah, blah........its too late young spawn.....you have destroyed today's ration of self esteem.

This lovely remark was provided to me via my extremely thin, built like her dad, hazel eyed, long sandy brown hair, thin, long legged tiny waisted, did I mention thin, spawn o mine. I sound like I might be a tad jealous of the wonderful configuration of her 46 chromosomes. I AM. There I said it.  There are other mothers who at some point have felt the same. If not, eff it.  Its how I feel today. So there.

Tiny bundle of compliments

Me a fat baby...cute but fat

You know, When I was pregnant with my little bundle of compliments, there was nothing I hoped for more than she be thee most beautiful little baby in the world. Having been a fat baby, toddler, child, adolescent, teen, and adult (apparently), I wanted a thin childhood for her. So that running fast and not being picked last would not be her fate. And God apparently saw fit to honor this wish. I now wonder if it is a blessing or a curse.





My little sassy pants on more than one occasion has let me know that she totally thinks I'm cute. (I  need her approval, right?). And that while I am not thin, my version of fat is acceptable to her. She compares me to other moms who are bigger than me, but still acceptable because moms just get bigger right? Her perception is clearly skewed. Is it my fault? Whatever......she's just vain and somehow decided she can weigh in on beauty and size in her world of moms.  Uuuugggghhh.

What else would she be but, a cheerleader.... I encouraged this

I (for reasons I cant explain) actually went into conversation with the young spawn about how I was actually a smaller me after I birthed her sister and her. (<-----that's gotta be bad grammar, sounds bad, reads bad. I digress). I showed her pics of my super cool and relatively slim self and showed her pics of other moms who didn't get fat. Then I realize that this conversation is no good......for me.  Now I am forced to realize, i only got this way by eating my feelings.....somebody call Dr. Phil, this teen, single married twice mom has got issues.

Dammit! Kids aren't supposed to help you realize you are a cluster of tom foolery! Shit! I've been working out and doing Yoga booty ballet (Don't judge me, it was a very interesting infomercial) and all other random types of BeachBody workouts, I've even graced a Zumba instructor or two with my presence. But now thanks to super cute thin young spawn, i realize it isn't the workouts.....I eat my feelings.  Thanks Kiddo..... another something to add to the list of stuff I'm still working on.

Me.......Not that Fat...

Lesson for the day: Oh eff it, there isn't one.... someone call my husband and tell him to bring me a Red Bull and Funyuns.  I'm working out this evening.


Teen mom moment:  Kids are annoying, I dont need them making me aware of my issues and flaws.
Mom Moment: i love that little chickadee, her ability to be brutally honest while remaining cute is enviable, and her ability to eat bacon and candy in large amount while still remaining thin inspires me.

Welp, another something off my chest peeps.
~L. rouge