Mothers Day-- The Real One

So I get it. One Sunday Morning you wake up and your kids have crafted you some sort of card, maybe even made a breakfast. Your husband buys a gift and a card has the kids sign it, or in the case of a close friend of mine Dad signs the card for the kid, cuz its easier. You take a shower everyone stares at you lovingly. Some magical power has caused your kid to wash the dishes- you are amazed. If its your thing you go to church with your own mom. if your mom has passed away, you're a little sad, but you press on the way she would have wanted. You get to church and all the church fellas tell you they appreciate you. There may be breakfast, or brunch, a gift bag, a flower, something to that effect. Church lets out you go to dinner at your fave restaurant. You text all your girlfriends a happy mothers day message. You relax a bit and go to bed. Your regular life is back in play and all in all its a good mothers day right?


Mine went differently. The Hubbs has a new gig. First day? Mother's Day. So I get up, get the girls dressed, the three of us plus one Nana head off to Sunday school (church is our thing). We arrive learn some good stuff ;the kids are antsy, they wont be still and this disturbs me, so I'm not such a cheerful mom this mother's day and all the saints can tell. I give the mom look of wrath. Does this work? Nope. they keep getting up and making noises and distracting others- i'm getting more irritated. It does not look good for the spawn.

I googled bad kid at church I got this book and Lady Gaga! hahaha 

Apparently she is a church kid gone bad? Who knew?

Sunday school dismisses everyone wants to save them, they see whats coming. I close in give a REALLY stern hushed tone reprimanding. They nod their understanding and all finishes well. Church is great, I tell all the moms that they are awesome and I mean it ( I grew up with all these ladies). They tell me I'm doing a great job and I believe em. The girls try to go home with a buddy- No happs it's Mother's day they're stuck with me.

Home now,  I clean the kitchen (nope the girls didn't) take a nap. Wake up Nana made dinner. YUM! Me and my mommy watch one of our fave flix...... Avatar! The Hubbs comes home, he's tired; runs bathwater for me lights a couple candles, turns on the jacuzzi thingie I never have time to fire up. It is good. We get in the bed and pass out.  Oh yeah somewhere in there I tell all my Face Book mama's happy mother's day.

Hubbs kinda saved the day! Go Hubbs! needed that bath

That's not how it goes according to the masses. I felt like the day sucked overall.

BUT,  Monday. A random day like any other Monday.  I get home to hugs and kisses from the spawn, their homework is done already, they did all their chores and no one prompted it (I checked with Hubbs and Nana), I got to pee without an interruption. The Hubbs was in a great mood and it was time for me to work out. the spawn told me they would work out with me, Even the Beanster ! (she never participates). We do about 10 sweat attack routines on Just Dance, our favorite song on Just Dance Summer party, and five Michael Jackson Experience songs with a cool down on Rock with You! The bean and I were Sweaty and then we hugged. Munch already skinny only did a few but hung around for moral support. Took a shower the girls and hubbs had dinner (I'm fasting). they took baths freshened up the living room and kitchen and went to bed. bean came and gave me a big hug said nighty night, Munch still likes to be tucked in so I did. The Hubbs handed over the remote and we watched bad reality TV until I drifted off. Monday was pretty awesome by our standards.

I actually made a collage of all the goodness of the Wii. Pray for me I'm mildly obsessed I think 

Yes, I Love this trash!!!

When is Mother's Day? Any day it feels pretty darn great to be a Mom!

 So, to all my Mom's I purposely waited to post in case an epiphany occurred, and here it is HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY !!!!!!!! WHATEVER DAY IT FALLS ON :)

Teen Mom Moment: I never expected to have good Mother's days.  It was drilled into my head that I wasnt supposed to be a mom yet.

This was a good day. it was June 9th. - MOTHERS DAY

Mom Moment:  Mother's day is every day!

You get a double Hi-Five

So I have begun my next new workout regimen in pursuit yet again of not being  That Fat.   In an effort to get my shit together before I hit the big 3-0 in July I have taken to Zumba dance party on ....wait for it.....the Wii!!!! My Love for the Wii has no bounds .  After some wonderful encouragement from the hubbs I took the great $39.99 plunge and bought the software. Here is where it begins friends, wish me luck.

I just wanna share the beginning of my journey and a few fun things with ya so this post wil be uber short.  The fact that my husband loses wieght at lightening speed make me Fee-Ur_Eeee-Ussss (translation: furious)!!!! No matter how much I alter my eating and start up some short lived workout trend...I lose about 10, find 7 quickly and play yoyo with the 3 remaining.  But Not this time dammit!!!!!!

I have this !!!!!!!

My secret weapon lol

 I also have some spawn who I will now acknowledge in a positive light for a change. Here's how the first night of Zumba Wii went:

Me and the hubbs walk in the door with Walmart bags
Bean and Munch: What did y'all get?
Hubbs: A toilet seat and some stuff.... Are yall rooms clean and chores done?
Bean and Munch:.........silence lol (they are obviously not done and this becomes apparent to hubbs
Hubbs: grumbling.......Mommy see what I'm talkin bout??? (he exits the stage)
Lola: I bought yall some campfire marshmallows too! Oh and we know have Zumba for the Wii!!!! (holds up box)
Munch and Bean: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
Lola: Ya'll gone workout wit me???? I dont wanna be that fat no mo (makes sad face)
Munch: Mommy you're not that fat (see above for what is wrong with this statement)...... But yeah! Phoenix has this game and its fun!!!!!
Bean: Cool Mommy..... I wanna lose my gut and we did this in gym fo like 3 weeks I think i remeber some of the stuff.....you know i cant dance tho.
Hubbs: MOMMY!!!!!! where the movies at ????????
Lola: ON THE SHELF BABE!
Munch: imma put in on now ok mommy?
Lola: Do that! Its about to go down!!!!! (starts doing the im gonna be skinny soon dance)
Bean: Laughing at the I'm gonna be skinny soon dance  picks up kindle and sits on couch
Hubbs: MOMMY!!!!!!!! I DONT SEE EM!!!!!
Lola: FOR REAL?!?!?!?! YOU KNOW IM TRYNA WORKOUT!
Hubbs: SORRY! HOW LONG YOU GONE BE?
Lola: IM WORKIN OUT LEAVE ME ALONE BOO!!!!
Munch: U ready???
Lola: Yup
Lola does first two routines and is now sweating, hot and thirsty
Lola: Munch, get me sum ice water
Bean: You doin good Ma, hi five! (we slap hi five and i continue moving latin style)
Lola: thanks bean, wanna do one ?
Hubbs: BOO! CAN YOU COMERE????
Lola: Munch and Bean ya'll do this one
Hubbs: you working out boo?
Lola: yes, I will be back when it's over babe
Hubbs: okay
Kids: Mommy its over
Lola: here i come
really tough choreographed number comes on  Lola hangs in there pretty good 
Computer generated class instructor: WAY TO GO! YOU'RE DOING GREAT!!!
Lola: I like this class instructor
Bean: You silly mommy
song ends ...Lola is whooped
Bean: That one was hard mommy, you get a double hi five!
(we slap a double hi five and the bellydancing cool down song come on)
Hubbs is peeking in the room, he grins and walks away
Lola and the spawns do the cool down together, laughing at each others moves
Lola: Well that was it chickens! Im gonna be skinny soon! give me a hug
Bean and Munch: UUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH! you all sweaty!
Munch: I'm bored
Lola: It's bedtime Munch
Bean: You did good mommy!
Lola: Thanks Bean!
Hubbs: I'm proud of you stinky.... take a shower and get in this bed!
Lola smiles to self and does the skinny dance on her way to the shower. 

Remember how almost every episode ended with them about to get it on? i felt kinda like that lol

We aint quite the Huxtables

The Cast of Zumba on the Wii Day 1

But we are flippin awesome! 

Sidenotes:  I dont make my kids use proper english at home, it's home they know when to shut it off..... I realize this post may have lived up to a few stereotypes, sometimes they're right! :) I had no teen mom moment or regular moment....Just me and the fam! 


happy friday friends!
~lola rouge

Easter Weekend an ode to the Nintendo Wii

Sooo, Its been a few minutes since I posted,  But, Easter at my house can be a pretty big deal. There are dresses and new shoes to buy, hair to curl, speeches to learn, candy to eat, dinner to cook.... yadda, yadda, yadda. I'm not sure why we go through all the pageantry, but we do.

The Spirit of Easter or at least the cute hats to go with it is alive and well

The kids were off school Friday (but I wasn't free from work), so I had to pull together a super fun family time activity, while still managing to hang with my mom and husband. I resorted to the Wii ( God bless the creators of that thing, it gets me through every time) Nothing like kicking off Easter Weekend with dancing to the Michael Jackson Experience!!!!!! I think we ate pizza.... side note: we eat pizza way more than I should admit to.... I'm a young mom what do you want from me.  Next up tackling the first head of hair.........

Two finely groomed chickadees......... one tired mom 

Bean is the pickiest kid on planet Earth, of this I am sure. After washing, conditioning, blow drying, she still doesn't know how she wants it to look.  So I do what irritated moms do. I style it and spend the next hour convincing her its cute and trendy. Once she realizes I'm not BS-ing her- She's cool, I'm pooped, and the old man is ready to watch transformers (another something we do more than I should admit to).
Saturday morning its 7:30 am and I'm up!!!!!! Why???? Because I still make my 10 year old go to bed early and therefore she rises at the Crack!!!! One of my two days off is not starting as planned.... Pancakes showers and wait for it.........The Wii - This is the greatest invention ever!!!!! we dance, it doubles as a workout for me and the kids are satisfied with mom time! added bonus- My mom loves to watch us attempt fairly difficult choreographed routines in the living room. After several routines, sweaty me plus the chickies and some juice...... It's time for the volleyball game! Yup we play volleyball in a local church league AND we are in first place! Funny thing is our team rages in age from 53 to 10. It's really quite hilarious. The husband got some great giggles out of seeing that game. Saturday night????  You guessed it the Wii! Did I mention I LOVE the inventors of that thing?

Goodtimes

So, I've officially decided that I'm rambling about the goodness of the Wii way too much, so I'll wrap this up.  Basically folks I had a pretty super awesome weekend with the family, doing what the books say is not a great thing: Eating Bad food tons of Easter Candy and playing video games!

Our Favorite song to boogie to

Well blog readers that was my weekend
Teen Mom moment:  Hell I simply dont have one
Mom Moment:  This parenting/family thing is pretty damned all right!  

Their Other Mom.... The Photographer

Thanks to great friends who stick around my kids have a second Mom. Nope I'm not gay..... my children have stolen my best friend.  I actually find this slightly annoying.   I love my kids, I love my best friend but somewhere in my mind I always imagined that the two would be somewhat separate. But... Nope. They have taken over. I occasionally get envious because I'm positive my oldest daughter thinks she's cooler than me. NO ONE should be cooler than me, right?

So here's the deal I've come up with several reasons they might dig my best homie more than me, I don't know why I've made this list but here it is:


1. Both Aneesah and Nicole are Leos. maybe this astrological connection helps them to relate to eachother, their moods, and retarded habits, idiosyncrasies, and shit are alike. I dunno. But I have decided this could be a major factor in all this.

These two chicks....way too close. 

2. She isn't big on discipline. She is the super fun aunt sorta mom type figure who even when she's fussing it just doesn't sound like it to me type chick.  I however, shall biteth off the head of an offensive teen/tween at a moments notice. Someone's gotta scare the shit outta these kids or else you end up on Maury Povich with that Loud screaming dude with the sweater vest right?

This guy always made me laugh... Bad kids watch out He's gonna yell at you!

3. She actually listens to the random shit they talk about. DISCLAIMER: I listen too but after it starts sounding like random babbling about TV and made up scenarios ... I'M OUT. I tune it out and check in occasionally for words that ring important..Don't all moms do this? Nicole has somehow managed to make them think she's listening, even if she isn't listening. Its a mystery really. I'll have to ask her if she listens..

4. She's a photographer, a really good one. I imagine compared to a mom who works at a funeral home (saving that topic for another blog) this would be much more exciting. She takes pictures of them, and they dig it. She even lets them take pics  when they are doing weird sister-y type things. She reminds them that they are super cute model status worthy of a photo girls. I tell them they are a pretty but a photographer? That's the real compliment ....... Whatever lol.

Tell me this kid doesn't feel like a model

Cool lookin pic right? Bean thought so.

See... No photographer would let them behave this way, It's cute though

5. They just love her. At some point I was gonna have to be realistic about all this. Number 5 will be dedicated to that. Nicole has been my friend since before they were born, outside of my mom and brother, cousins (you get the picture, people we don't see everyday) She has been one of few Constants in their life.  I'm a single mom, so their dad isn't with us, and I've been married twice- remove the first step dad now. So Nicole's presence is more predictable than most things.  Is she awesome well sure she's my best friend, and all my awesomeness can only be accompanied by awesomeness.

BUT, here's the deal: My kids take EVERYTHING!! From cream sodas, chips and candy, socks, scarves, earrings and my friends. This shit must stop! I don't go around being super cool chummy mom with their friends. They interrupt girls nights with phone calls .... to ask HER shit, and wine doesn't taste as good when you cant properly gossip and talk about shit they shouldn't hear if they keep coming in the kitchen. BTW they only find her cool separately, because when we are together, a few glasses of wine in....... Our music is dated and the stories we can share? they scoff at.


So there! Super cool more fun than my own mom Nicole! you are only cooler than me sometimes......

Me and The Best friend Nicole

Teen Mom Moment: Leave my friend alone She is mine and I'm your mom Appreciate Me!
Mom Moment: Get ready best bud, when that Mack Truck Hits Me..... You are ON DECK!!!!!


~l. rouge

You're no THAT fat mommy......sigh

Yup. She did it. She said it as I was getting dressed to go perform poetry, on my now fourth attempt at looking like I accidentally look this cool.... "You're not THAT fat mommy." After what I am sure were death rays caused her to wince a bit, She went on to say... You are not fat at all, kinda thick, just not skinny....blah, blah, blah........its too late young spawn.....you have destroyed today's ration of self esteem.

This lovely remark was provided to me via my extremely thin, built like her dad, hazel eyed, long sandy brown hair, thin, long legged tiny waisted, did I mention thin, spawn o mine. I sound like I might be a tad jealous of the wonderful configuration of her 46 chromosomes. I AM. There I said it.  There are other mothers who at some point have felt the same. If not, eff it.  Its how I feel today. So there.

Tiny bundle of compliments

Me a fat baby...cute but fat

You know, When I was pregnant with my little bundle of compliments, there was nothing I hoped for more than she be thee most beautiful little baby in the world. Having been a fat baby, toddler, child, adolescent, teen, and adult (apparently), I wanted a thin childhood for her. So that running fast and not being picked last would not be her fate. And God apparently saw fit to honor this wish. I now wonder if it is a blessing or a curse.





My little sassy pants on more than one occasion has let me know that she totally thinks I'm cute. (I  need her approval, right?). And that while I am not thin, my version of fat is acceptable to her. She compares me to other moms who are bigger than me, but still acceptable because moms just get bigger right? Her perception is clearly skewed. Is it my fault? Whatever......she's just vain and somehow decided she can weigh in on beauty and size in her world of moms.  Uuuugggghhh.

What else would she be but, a cheerleader.... I encouraged this

I (for reasons I cant explain) actually went into conversation with the young spawn about how I was actually a smaller me after I birthed her sister and her. (<-----that's gotta be bad grammar, sounds bad, reads bad. I digress). I showed her pics of my super cool and relatively slim self and showed her pics of other moms who didn't get fat. Then I realize that this conversation is no good......for me.  Now I am forced to realize, i only got this way by eating my feelings.....somebody call Dr. Phil, this teen, single married twice mom has got issues.

Dammit! Kids aren't supposed to help you realize you are a cluster of tom foolery! Shit! I've been working out and doing Yoga booty ballet (Don't judge me, it was a very interesting infomercial) and all other random types of BeachBody workouts, I've even graced a Zumba instructor or two with my presence. But now thanks to super cute thin young spawn, i realize it isn't the workouts.....I eat my feelings.  Thanks Kiddo..... another something to add to the list of stuff I'm still working on.

Me.......Not that Fat...

Lesson for the day: Oh eff it, there isn't one.... someone call my husband and tell him to bring me a Red Bull and Funyuns.  I'm working out this evening.


Teen mom moment:  Kids are annoying, I dont need them making me aware of my issues and flaws.
Mom Moment: i love that little chickadee, her ability to be brutally honest while remaining cute is enviable, and her ability to eat bacon and candy in large amount while still remaining thin inspires me.

Welp, another something off my chest peeps.
~L. rouge

Hippie, Bohemian, Neo-Soul Mom

Soooooo...... I am a Poet. There I said it.  What does that mean really? Depends on who you are are and shit. Mostly it means I'm fairly good with words, and I can make them rhyme, and it usually adds up to a great story type message or something.  I loathe the stereotype that comes with it though. My friends who happen to be poets don't sit around trying to out profound each other or signify everything the other says with a "That's Deep" every few minutes.  Sorry.  I know in your mind it was a cool image, but it just isn't what happens.... We don't dress in all black with berets on like beatniks and shit....we look rather normal actually.

Nope this isnt us......

This IS Us.... See pretty normal looking

What does any of this have to do with you being a mother Lola?  Hold on it will all come together. My new taking up in all things bohemian and poet like has caused a new slot in our relatively scheduled lives.  Now on Tuesdays and Wednesdays which was formerly our slot for mind numbing TV watching and the occasional dance off on The Wii are now the nights when after dinner as I apply my makeup and perfectly planned unplanned random outfit together the kids say something witty to like Oh yeah its Poetry Night see you in a few snaps. They're corny really.

      

             See. Cute but Corny

They often complain that they wanna come and why would I perform poetry somewhere they cant come?, and Why don't I perform somewhere they only serve tea? (because they saw it on TV). Now here comes the part where I guess I might stage a performance where they get to see me perform at home and I would serve tea and dress up and make them feel apart of what I am and What I do. NOPE.


I don't want to. Does this make me a bad mom?   Maybe.  This Poetry thing I do ......ITS MINE. I share everything with their asses. I bought myself a friggin cream soda yesterday and a shit ton of juice for them. What do they want to drink??? Cream Soda....Mine the only one in the house.  I spend 99cents on myself and cant even have that. I realize that this is the price for being someones mom, but I refuse to share this with them. Not yet at least. And furthermore....... Half of that shit is inappropriate for them anyway. Don't get me wrong, I certainly don't write erotic poetry, but they wouldn't get it......maybe I should write a poem they would understand, that's the cool good mom thing to do right? NOPE I don't want to. 

                        Me doing my poetry thang......Kidless






Honestly, I only feel a little bad about this. I think every mom should have a part of the universe that is kid free. And lets just be honest. It isn't the places you thought it would be, like the bedroom, bathroom (nope I still cant pee, poop or shower without an interruption from my 12 and 10 year old daughters), or even work (my kids call and email me at work incessantly). So my space is a dark little dive in the eccentric part of town where I perform poetry under a name other than Mommy


Teen mom moment: Why wont they just leave me alone?????? I want to be someone else for 2 hours twice a week don't they get that??????
Mom moment: I actually do think its pretty awesome that they are interested in what I'm doing, and I'm sure at some point we will share in all things, Wordy, Bohemian, Neo-Soul, and Hippie..... I'm flattered that they think I'm a relatively cool mom. At least 
Munch does :)




~L. rouge

You Don't Look Old Enough To be Their Mom

Walking down the street to the park one day a little old lady (who was very cute btw, I adore old people) asked my daughter who did her hair so pretty. My little babe replied in that cute soft little voice she usually only reserves for strangers "My Mommy" and looks up at me. Cute Little Old lady replies "Well she did a beautiful job sweetheart". So I then answer "Thank You". Cue up the looks of disdain. She immediately says to me with her tone very different than it started "Well YOU don't even look old enough to be THEIR MOM. How old Are you?" Pause.  Big Pause. Enter stage right for this mornings rant.

This old lady isn't cute--But that is pretty similar to the look I got

I imagine if I had already turned 35 this would have been a flattering statement and I would have smiled and moved on.  BUT I'm not 35 and I didn't move on.  I was actually offended a tad bit.  Here is why:

1. LOOK Cute little Old Lady I know you watch the news and sixty minutes and shit teen pregnancy has been on the rise for quite sometime now. And I Know you have spent many a 7 o clock shaking your head in disdain at the numbers and children you are convinced are clearly going to suffer because of this. I am no one to shake your head at and my kids are probably way more awesome and will be more successful than the kids you waited until you were forty to have. (At least I know I will try my damnedest to see to that). I loathe people who act as if they are unaware of the obvious turn society has taken in terms of parenting age.

2. My grandmother lived to be 97 years old and while she was a tad bit disappointed (this is clearly an understatement , but I digress) that I was being made a mother while still in school, she did reflect with me on how when she was growing up the average age for childbearing began at around the same age. Granted, they also had long since been discharged from school and married to some guy with an acre or two to be inherited. The age was sixteen on average. Sooo while times have changed .....my getting pregnant at sixteen was by far no new occurrence.

The wife here does NOT look very old to me....Just saying.

3. THANKS for creating and unneeded or desired awkward moment with my pretty damn smart kids. Now they are asking questions they already know the answer to..... like how old were you when I was born?, and You were still in high school? and Where did I go while you were at school all day? Nothing like Judgement day with your own damn kids.
Sidenote: My school had a daycare and while I have personally heard people make crude remarks about high schools with day cares- this is actually an awesome thing. YES there are girls who abuse and take it for granted. THAT girl was NOT me.  I was able to breast feed (yup, I breast fed because I read in a book that breastfed babies have higher IQ's and better bonds with their moms- yup, I READ) and finish school on time with Honors while still participating in various academic extracurricular activities  --YUP! I was a Mathlete -first team to place first in many years at my school.

Apparently some teens cant graduate if they get pregnant--FALSE 

4. Why couldn't I have just been damned good looking for my age? Why does it matter how old I am? Clearly you have been graced with the presence of a good looking, well mannered, and freshly groomed (you noted this yourself, it is the Very reason for this morning's rant) set of little girls. However old or not old I am, at the very least I am doing a great job on the surface......leave it at that Cute Little Old Lady.

We look wholesome and normal Right?

5. Last but certainly not least.  When you behave that way Cute little old lady you make me rant on my blog. I would like to think that the thoughts and funny looks from others would not bother me.....but they do. I realize that my Mothering age and maybe even my parenting style are a bit unorthodox but I'm still a mommy. And shouldn't all us mommies no matter how old, young or in between be supportive of each other. I'm sure in all your years as a mom and grandma and whatever you have discovered (more times than I) that this shit isn't easy. Offer up a bit of mothering advice- for those moms out there who don't want your advice a bit of encouragement. Keep it light- maybe tell me how to get that grass stain out, a place to buy really foofy, fluffy, puffy Easter dresses- i dunno. But DO save that awful look I cant get out of my head. I just don't need that shit.
Second Sidenote: Thank You MTV for making it extremely apparent to most of the world that Teen Moms are clearly train wrecks. We are not those girls on that show are THEE worst. It sickens me really. There is nothing glamorous or TV worthy about the struggle, we make our beds and we lay in them. PERIOD. if you are smart....You figure out a better way to make your bed and you make it beneficial for everyone especially those kids.... what you DON'T do is try and find a camera crew to watch you make some of the same mistakes older moms make and have it magnified and exaggerated because you are on TV and the world needs someone to criticize.


Did I dispel any thoughts any may have had about teen moms- probably not. But I got that shit off my chest to an audience, However small. Have a good day folks. I guess that's all I have to say about that.  In my Forrest Gump voice - giggles.  See I'm better already.


~Mommy rouge 

I Forgot I was Blogging

Soooooo, in all the WTF that is my life I totally forgot my sign on for my blog.  IKR shame on me all the Real bloggers are calling me horrid names.....to hell with ya.  I'm a mom. I figured out my password and I'm back in action.  That being said.... lots has happened since I last posted. I'll wing it till I feel I'm all caught up.

Well lets start with the kids.....this is my mom platform for random ranting about them anyway. Bean is officially the quintessential Pre/teen.  I want to knock her block off incessantly, she either says too little or way too much.... both of these responses make me want jump off a bridge holding her hand. Was I really that great at being an asshole at 12/13 y.o???

She Looks so sweet right?

                                                               

Such a mild mannered looking child ......Nope hormones have kicked In

My little goofball has bounced clear outta the picture :-(

What happened to my little goofball who said funny little things and mostly chilled to herself. I never thought those days would leave. Should I blame the relatively good school system and Advanced/Honors classes she and I agreed were best for her smart ass mouth????  She's college bound but only if she makes it past my mothers wrath. Pardon my moment but I must provide you with an example of the Bullshit I've been dealing with:
Me: Hey Bean have you seen the Febreeze? I thought It was in the linen closet.
Bean: I did not take or do anything with your Febreeze Mom...God.....
Me: That is not what I asked you. Now find my damn air freshener before I knock your block off!!!!

This is pretty much how she looks all the time now Surly. 

I think my kid realizes these are somewhat empty threats, she knows her grades are top knotch, she doesnt hang with a bad crowd (quite frankly, she hangs with no one she doesn't "want to be associated with people who don't have it together") <-----That's a quote from her.) and she's on the usher board at church for goodness sake! Whats a recovering teen mom attempting to be a normal mom to do?

Teen Mom moment:  I really would love to glove up and beat the hell out of her
Mom Moment: I must have been a real bitch at that age to be receiving this from the Good One- It's gotta get better.

She's the sassy One

I used to wish I could have more kids. But now that I have done the math (you know, how old I will be when the last Chickie flies the coop for college), I just can no longer fathom it. That being said, my two daughters will have to do.

Now here is the deal, i have the classic oil and vinegar set of girlies.  Both are pretty, both are smart, both are respectful; the similarities stop there. Aneesah (hereafter will be known as Bean) is the straight laced, no nonsense, fairly melancholy, antisocial, bookworm, with strong opinions that she rarely shares. People meet her and her sister and say things like "She seems so sweet", "her energy is  so peaceful", and "she must be your responsible child".  While these are all very nice things to say, I don't think she digs it and I totally understand why.

 somebody please pin her tail back on


This brings us to Ariel (who will mostly be referred to as Munch).  I believe that when she was born an angel came down into our little new mom room and whispered in her ear. Here is what I think the angel said: "Hey Munch, the world is one great party, make sure you are there, try to be the star, and don't worry about being late, just get there".  What an awful thing for a sweet little angel to tell my kid! Munch is a classic cutie: fair skin, hazel eyes, long hair, long legs, thin frame and Super Social. What do they say when they meet her? "Oh you are so pretty.", "look at those beautiful eyes", and "She is such a Diva". She loves to hear it too.

                                                               She stole this pose from America's Next Top Model
What's a mom to do? I have a sweetie pie and a sassy pants. I have to give that mom look when people start to compliment Munch shake my head, and let them know she is already well informed on her beauty and Diva-dom. Now what I had to figure out was that Bean totally thinks she is super cute, she just doesn't put much stock into it.  Ariel doesn't think school and being humble are too important, even though she's very intelligent.  Oh Well.

Teen Mom moment:  Munch is the most super fun party kid ever, I love to take her to social settings with me, even though beans kinda my fave cuz I had her first.
Mom Moment:  Until their personalities level out and they become their own selves regardless of my opinions, when people ask about the girls I will have to say: "Bean's my responsible levelheaded child, and Munch is the sassy one."

                                              A rare moment when neither tried to outshine the other.

The School year has begun

Sooooooo, the chickadees are back in school, and as it goes so am I. I cant believe how much I feel like I never graduated. It kinda sucks.  Proud mom moment: My oldest is in the Honors Program, this ultimately means because she is so stinking smart, they will let her earn highschool credits in Middle school and give her loads way mor work at home and in class. Teen mom moment: I am now taking advanced Math, English, and Latin. Yay me.

Now, I get to reflect on the joys of middle school for me at least:
1. Establishing your cool: Apparently now that I'm older and a mom this means nothing of what it used to mean.  I am trying to help her find the trend she wishes to follow (approve it), pick out the modest and chic clothes, bookbags, binders, pens, pencils, etc. She now thinks I'm crazy, I think she is lame......

2. Connecting with teachers: Figuring out who is the coolest teacher, which ones you can ask questions, who takes a special interest in you (for manipulation purposes too), you never know when you really might need that extension on the research paper.  I think she is oblivious and uninvolved, she thinks I'm crazy they're all the same--just teachers.

3. Finding your gal pals: I didnt have a clique, thankfully, no mean girl mob mentality, but you  need a gal pal right? Guess not, my oldest is most definetely a loner. She marches to the beat of her own very quiet drum.  She flies below raidar and has no inclination to start up a band. She thinks I'm way to into her social life, I'm freaking out and often worry she has social issues. (BTW her dad now too thinks I'm going crazy about all this).

Moral of this story..... I dont think there is one, other than whats a mom to do when school starts and the culture has changed so much we cant tell if we were wierd or just our kids are?  My inner teen mom totally thinks my kid is super uncool. My grownup mom  says if you were an older mom you wouldnt even care.

Yup, I'm a mom...

So, I have tried this blog thing before, but, I picked a topic that I was limited on. Now being a mom, I have tons of experiences to share. So I will start at the beginning.  YUP!, I'm a mom. Not just any mom the dreaded and often stereotyped TEEN MOM.

                                                Me at sixteen with my preemie firstborn  (Can you say petrified?)
 I had the privilege of becoming a mother at the tender age of seventeen, and again at nineteen.  Two beautiful girls. People sure do look at you funny when you drop your babe off at the babysitters on  the way to prom. They really whisper when you have another one two years later.  I dig the interest and I keep living. I have  also been a step mom, twice over. Yes Folks, teen moms sometimes get married...... twice. (I smile at this part)

 I would like to share with you the fun, not so cliche' moments that have made my life wickedly awesome, and often times left me...... Well,  befuddled.  I intend to dispel the rumors that we are any different than any other moms.  We are all a little crazy!  I have just had major fun with it all.

 Cheers to the mom's everywhere!  Hope you enjoy!